Mealtime madness

Life with a two-year old can be maddening.  They are constantly asserting their independence by voicing their opinions, trying to do everything themselves, and changing their mind by the minute second.

Mealtime at our house has become the worst time of day.  First of all, Leila insists on choose her own plate, silverware, and cup. These are choices I have no problem with, until they make her crazy.  I want this plate, no this plate.  This cup, no I don't like this cup.  I want the other one.  You see where I am going here...and this is before the food is even served.

This was the first smile I've seen at mealtime in a while.

Leila never wants to eat anything served to her, naturally, because it wasn't her idea.  Her once "favorite" foods become gross.  She wants her sandwich cut into big pieces seconds after requesting little pieces.  I don't like that, has become the phrase I hear most often.  She pushes her plate away or plays with her food. This behavior is driving me nuts!

I give her choices.  I've resorted to bribery and trickery.  I set limits and make it my mission to follow through with what I've said.  I know she won't starve if she doesn't eat, that's not really what I am worried about.  We can't make it through mealtime without listening to whining (or even crying) and I am losing it.

Please tell me you have some tips that I can implement right away!  The first thing I am doing is making "set" times for meals and snacks, just like we have set times for sleep.

Any suggestions (or just plain sympathy)?