Got baby fever? I can help you with that.

Pregnancy is the best birth control.  Besides the fact that it's not possible to get pregnant while already pregnant, being pregnant is the best way to cure the baby fever that might creep up on you in the future.

Too late?  You already have the fever...the crazy overwhelming desire to have another squishy baby right-this-minute to love and nurture forever?  Baby, baby, baby is all you can think about both night and day?  You see pregnant women everywhere and are insanely jealous of their cute baby bump?

I've been there and I can help you with that.  Full term pregnancy is the cure, possibly the only cure, for baby fever.

Let me remind you of just how terribly uncomfortable it gets in the last week(s)...

• I must lasso my underwear on in the morning, hoping to rope in that leg before I fall over.
• It is painful to stand, or sit, or lay down for more than ten minutes at a time.
• When you tell someone when your baby is due they literally take a step back, like you are going to give birth right then, on them.
• Having the urge to pee again the second you stand up from peeing, and yet again the second you leave the bathroom. And again five minute later.
• Heartburn and indigestion from drinking water...um, yes, it happens.
• Putting on your own shoes is a dangerous act and bending down to put on your toddler's shoes is worse.
• Torturing yourself with your own thoughts, "Will the baby come today?" and "What was that pain?" is enough to drive yourself insane.
•  Pregnancy face...enough said.

Are you cured yet?

Must I remind you that NONE of your clothes will fit you that last week?  Or that if you think you are tired now, just wait until that baby comes? (You know it's true.  Pregnancy is the best cure for baby fever.)

How about this basketball sized belly...does this help break your fever?

So yeah, technically this shirt still fits, but it use to work with leggings.  Not anymore.

It's tough being two.

A few weeks ago posted this status on Facebook while eating breakfast with Leila:

You would think the world has ended over here...there are blueberries in Leila's blueberry pancakes and she cannot seem to put the cut pieces of pancake back together. Oh crap, her napkin just dropped on the floor. This is it. Brace yourselves.

It made me laugh to see her strong reaction to such common, normal, everyday things. But more than that, it made me step back and see the world through her eyes for a moment.  I am sure glad I am not two.

The world ends over here on a  regular basis.

Wrong color cup, plate, or utensils...hysterics.
Mommy running upstairs to grab something...screams for me to pick her up.
Daddy wants a hug...runs away like he has the plague.
Forgetting Elmo (or the stuffed friend of the day) in the house...the crazy cry.
Offering to help her with anything...Nooooooo!

The craziest part of living with a two-year old is that she forgets in a minute (or less) that she just freaked out.  As quick as the crazy comes...it goes. I wish I could learn to let go like that.  Maybe being two wouldn't be so bad.

Perfectly content for now, until she realizes I expect her to eat a piece of chicken.

What causes the world to end for your child(ren)?

Babies vs. Puppies

Having a baby on the way is kind of freaking me out...still!  

I'm happy I have successfully raised a two-year old (yes, I realize that's not saying much).  Knowing that we all survived the baby-stage of the the first kid, makes me confident that we can do it again.

Raising a baby seems easy compared to raising a puppy!  Betsy recently got a puppy named Olive, and although she gets more attention on our weekly Farmers' Market trips than Leila ever did, Olive seems like more work too.

What do you think?  Would babies or puppies score more points in a head-to-head competition?

I think babies would out score puppies and take the victory.  Babies are better because...

Leila 3 months (December 2010)

• It's always appropriate to dress them in clothing
• Self-contained poop (most of the time)
• You can bring your baby with you almost everywhere
• Babysitters are easier to find
• Eventually you don't have to clean your baby's poop
• Babies smile at you
• You don't really have to worry about tripping over your baby
• Kisses are not nearly as wet or stinky
• The random stuff your kid says can make you laugh for days
• You won't get fur all over your clothes, couch, bed, etc.

Go ahead, try to be convinced by Betsy that puppies are better than babies by reading her post HERE.  I have a feeling you'll think I am right.  

Leave me a comment and help us settle the score.  

Who wins...babies or puppies?  

Unsolicited pregnancy advice

Back in 2010, when I was 35 weeks pregnant with Leila, I found out that two of my best friends from home were expecting their first child.  I decided to share with them some of the things I had learned along my journey. 

Now my youngest sister is 36 weeks pregnant with her first child (my first nephew!)  I revisited the list of advice I titled: Candid Pregnancy Advice from a VERY Pregnant Jen and sent it to her too.

Well...just today, I found myself NOT following my own advice! (Will I ever learn?)  So I figured it was time to revisit my list once again, to remind myself of what I learned the first time around, and share it with you.

Candid Pregnancy Advice from my VERY Pregnant Self:

• Trust your instincts! Enough said. 

• Do not research anything on the internet! Just like no one talks about how many people made it home safely (without getting shot, stabbed, in a car accident, or plane crash) the internet only tells the BAD stuff. Make a promise to yourself that you will not research pregnancy related symptoms online. 

• Yes it’s normal. What?!!? Yep…it’s normal. Anything you can imagine can and will happen to your body. Of course it is important to know the warning signs of something atypical but again, remember #1…trust your instincts. 

• Never look at your butt in the mirror. I am seriously sad that I did. Really…do not. (BIG MISTAKE that I made today!)

• Cellulite will appear in places you never expected. Think of it positively…my baby needs this or it wouldn't happen. 

• It is okay to eat deli meat, drink caffeine (200-300 mg is in a cup of coffee or a soda), hot dogs, AND...ice cream cures everything. 

• You will need to buy bigger underwear. Granny panties rock. 

• Wear your regular clothes as long as possible. Maternity clothes were very exciting at 16 weeks…not so much at 35 weeks when you are still wearing the same stupid maternity clothes. 

• Buy lots of clothes in bigger sizes.  What you wear in the 2nd trimester will not necessarily fit you in the 3rd trimester. 

• Don’t get hung up on the 25-35 lbs weight gain suggested to you by your doctor. It will make you cry and want to eat ice cream when you pass it up. (Unless, of course, your doctor says something to you specifically about your weight gain or lack of at an appointment. Mine laughed at me when I was concerned saying that no one really stays within those guidelines.) 

• Buy lots of toilet paper. You will pee 800 times a day/night. I sit down, pee, wipe, stand up and repeat (2 or 3x) before I am ready to leave the bathroom. Lean forward when you pee to get the last few drops out.

• You will be thirstier than you ever imagined. Water will keep you from major swelling, but 3rd trimester swelling will come. It will be funny when you can’t make a fist, see your ankle bones, have chubby knees, and fingerprints leave indents in your legs. 

• Everything (yes, even an apple) can give you heartburn and indigestion. Be smart and take Tums before you eat. 

• Prune juice is not so bad. Splurge on the good shit…the generic is just not the same. It works wonders and is totally necessary.   I drink it daily. Just close your eyes because it looks a little like au jus. 

• One word: EXERCISE. It boosts your mood, helps you poop, and keeps you from feeling bad about the shit you ate the day before. 

• Take weekly pictures of your belly. You will look back and laugh at when you “thought you looked pregnant” (me at week 10) and pray to just have that little bloated bump again someday! 

This last one is so true.  Here's the first bump picture of this pregnancy...
  

Huge at 13 weeks, huh?!

What would pregnancy advice would you need to remind yourself of the second (or third) time around?

Beware. Daddy is in charge.

Look closely at this picture.  

Do you see what I saw IMMEDIATELY upon their return from a treasure hunt walk?

A wonderful and unique treasure...a piece of poop.

Way to go Daddy!  How'd you miss that one?

Mommy is in charge again. It's time for a bath.

Obsessed much?

My child obsessed?  You betcha.

If you have been lucky enough to witness one of the most hysterical Leila meltdowns ever, you know that "obsessed" may not be a strong enough description.

Leila is obsessed with having blankets on her head. (I can hardly write that without laughing out loud.)

It's not easy capturing this obsession with my camera.  And I certainly will not stage a photo opportunity because I know what will come of it...

Whining, followed by an epic meltdown, is the result of the blanket falling off of her head.  

Sometimes she trips over the blanket and it comes off.  Sometimes the blanket is too heavy for her and she can't manage to keep it on her head properly AND play. Sometimes she just forgets how badly she wanted the blanket on and carelessly lets it slip off. 

It's a scary sight when this happens.  The crying stops only when the blanket is put back on her head. (Seriously I am laughing again.)

We can go days, even weeks, without a single blanket being on her head.  But when she spies a blanket...and her head starts spinning, be prepared to laugh at what's to come.

Seriously exhausted from all the melting down.

Think this obsession is funny?  Head on over and visit the link up for more Toddler Obsessions ...

Playing the Name Game, again!

Naming a child is such a special and important job.  It's something only parents get to do!  Naming Leila was quite a process, but that is part of the fun!

I love looking in baby name books, online lists, listening for catchy names I hear on television, and of course, I love the names people share as suggestions.  Our list is growing and being edited on a regular basis.  

I have a strange set of name "rules" to be followed, so I have no shame in ruling out a suggested name.

This guy thinks I am crazy, but happily plays by the rules.  He's sweet...he just said that he likes that I am crazy.  "It makes you- you.  Otherwise life would be boring."

Want to suggest a name?  Please do!  Just be sure to follow the rules below and promise you won't get your feelings hurt if I tell you "no".  

My baby naming rules:

• The name, when written, cannot go below the line.  No lowercase y, p, g, j, or q allowed.

• There are also some uppercase letters that I just don't like writing so they are out too.  (Told you they were strange rules.)  I don't particularly like writing the uppercase letters G, Y, A, or F.

• The name of my child my NOT be one of a pesky student that I had.  I taught for eleven years...that rules out a lot of names.

• I will not name my child the same name as a friend.  Friend can be a loose term these days with Facebook, Twitter, and all the blogs I read.  Since I make the rules, I can decide whether or not this friend's child's name is a contender or not.

• For those of you who know us personally, you know that our last name can be tricky to match up with a first name.  (Trust me on this one.)  It is a hard sounding, one syllable last name that starts with an S.  So guess what...S names are out too.  (Jeff would beg to differ, but I make the rules remember!)

• My son and daughter will not both start with the same letter, so L names are out.  We are already Jeff and Jen...Leila and L-something would be too much for me.

So, think you could suggest a BOY name for us?  Or do my rules scare you? Think of it as a challenge and help us name this baby!

My child is strange.

When Leila gets hurt, like trips over her own feet and skins her knee or gets whacked by a fellow toddler, she doesn't run to Mommy for a hug.  She doesn't run to Daddy either.

My child is strange.  Instead of looking for comfort, Leila runs away from it.

Asking her if she's okay just makes her yell, "No!"  Trying to give her a kiss makes her squirm.  Receiving any attention over getting hurt just makes things worse.

I know she's hurt.  I can tell by the tears or screams.  On the rare occasion that she does want me to pick her up and cuddle her, I know she's really feeling the pain, but the other 99% of the time, she deals with it in her own way.

Jeff and I have been discussing this quirk for a while now and we can't come up with an explanation.  Care to help?

Is she embarrassed?  Does she not like all the attention?  Are we doing something wrong?

Linking up again this week with Melissa over at Growing up Geeky.  This week's topic is funny or quirky habits.  I'm not sure Leila's behavior really fits into either category.

So that's where she gets it from

Depending on the context, those words can be heavily loaded.

So that's where she gets her beautiful blue eyes.  Not so bad (even though her baby blues come from Jeff.)

So that's where she gets her bossiness.  Not exactly music to my ears (even though it's true).

Last week I shared a list of phrases Miss Bossy-pants has been heard saying lately. I clearly admitted in the post that she may have heard me say some of those phrases to her, right?

I have said plenty of stuff to Leila that I cannot believe came out of my mouth.  Some stuff I can't even say with a straight face.

Yep, I'm where she gets it from...

You can't tell Mommy where to go.

That's enough Leila! (She repeated this back to me just two minutes later.)

No whining.  Wine is for Mommy.

Go...out of here.

As I mentioned earlier, PLEASE is being used more often around here.

Are there things you've said that you can't believe actually came out of your mouth (then later your child's)?  Want to read what other moms have said?

Check out the other Toddle Along Tuesday posts...

Bossy-pants

Actually, it's Miss Bossy-pants to you.

Here's a rundown of what my almost-two year old has been heard saying lately:

Don't like that.

Go away Mommy.

It's mine, not yours.  It's mine.

Stop!

No Mommy, keep it right there.

Sit down Mommy.

Me do it.  You do it.  No, me do it.

My friend, Amy, and her daughter Kennady hung out with us last week.  I can't remember what I said to Leila, but Amy's response to me was..."Hmmm, I wonder where she gets it from?!"  She was only half-joking.

Looks like PLEASE is going to become the most overused word in my vocabulary.

Wait...what did you just say?

My daughter just got a little more adorable (or annoying...you make the call).

Summertime sweaty Leila

Out of no where she started adding -y to the end of random words.  I do not talk to her like this.  I am not a fan of what I call "baby talk".  But when Leila says it, on her own, it is too cute!

The other day she asked for some "milky" instead of milk and she called her toy cell phone a "phone-y".  The next day she was passing toys out and said, "One for Leila.  One-y for Mommy."  I about died!  Seriously, where does she come up with this stuff?

I guess can stop blaming "those Moms" for talking baby talk to their kids. Sorry I judged you.  Can you forgive me?

Has your toddler started making up words or saying things you just can't believe?

Leila vs. the cat

My cat, Otis, is not a fan of Leila.  He rarely makes an appearance when she is awake in the house.  When he does, it's to eat or take care of business.

Poor kitty.  He wasn't always like this.  Otis always seemed to be hanging around the house with me...until we brought the baby home.

Otis is afraid of Leila.  Although I'm not surprised,  I am annoyed.  Wouldn't you assume that your pet, that loves attention from you, would also love attention from your child?

Leila tried, the minute she could move, to pet Otis.  That's what cats like, right?  

He's always been able to outrun her.  He runs under the bed, in the fireplace, or anywhere just to get away from her.  On many occasions he has tried to stand strong and show Leila who's boss.  He's hissed and growled at her for coming too close.  (We are teaching her to hiss back.)

Honestly I don't know what he's so scared of...  

Look at him.

Freaky cat eyes

Look at her.

Always-moving toddler

Alright, maybe she will be able to outrun him eventually.

Were you hoping for an adorable post about babies and pets?  

  I'm linking up with Growing up Geeky and Aidan...with Eos this week for Toddle Along Tuesday.  Head on over and get your fill. 

Big news...I will be co-hosting an upcoming Toddle Along Tuesday!  The link-up will be opened Monday night, August 13th and the topic is Finding Balance.  What do you do to stay sane in your crazy busy life?  Come back in two weeks to share your tips and link up!  

       

Let's talk about travel {Guest post}

Thank you for having me, Jen! I am so totally honored to help fill your space while you're away. 

About me:    

I'm Meghan and I have a little place on the Internet that I've deemed Phase Three of Life. I’m your typical working mom, living in Phoenix with my husband and toddler son, approximately 2,000 miles away from the rest of our families. Sometimes I’m sentimental, sometimes I’m overwhelmed, and sometimes I laugh when my kid throws a tantrum. I write whatever I’m feeling on any given day… It just so happens that I feel sarcastic more often than not.  

In honor of Jen's trip, let's talk about travel, shall we?

When I was pregnant with Ryan, I channeled most of my worrying toward three things:

1.      The physical act of childbirth. That seemed pretty scary.

2.      The fact that my feet might permanently grow a size. Cuz… ugh.

3.      How I would ever be able to efficiently pack for a trip with an extra person.

I’ve never been a very good trip-packer. If I had my way, I would take my whole closet with me because – who knows – I might feel like wearing that green shirt that I haven’t worn in 4 months. Or an unexpected cold front could come through, leaving me stuck with too many tank tops and not enough sweaters.

I’m the girl who packs 5 different pairs of shoes* and three purses to visit family in Cleveland, where everyone wears sneakers and carries the same purse every day until it falls apart. My suitcases are always jam-packed, on the brink of over-flowing, barely two pounds under the airline weight limit.

How on Earth would I fit a kid’s stuff, too? Bibs and back-up bibs and outfits and back-up outfits and blankets and back-up… we would never be able to travel again!

A strange thing happens when you become a mom, though. Priorities shift. You find yourself less concerned with being able to easily access a brightly colored
scarf to throw about your shoulders as you exit the airport and more concerned with whether your kid will scream for four straight hours and 100 perfect strangers
will sulk off the plane hating the very sight of you. So you pack every toy that has ever made him smile, every book he has ever cooed at and every outfit
that fits him.**

After several cross-country trips with Ryan – and never going over the suitcase weight limit, thankyouverymuch – I was convinced that my over-packing tendencies had been cured.

Kid needs: bib (just in case), favorite blankie and pillow pet... check! 

Mom needs: plain tank top and little-to-no accessories... double check!

Turns out, I was wrong.

Because recently, as I began packing for my first trip away from my family – a girls’ hiking trip to Utah – a thought flashed across my mind.

“I get my own suitcase…”

And like a recovering addict getting their first fix in years, I selected the biggest one we have and packed it within an inch of its life. I packed dresses and sweaters and cowboy boots and a jewelry organizer – and yes, I said it was a hiking trip. My friends came to pick me up and I struggled to load my behemoth piece of luggage into the trunk next to their practical little duffle bags.

“Uh, I don’t know what happened… first time with a suitcase to myself in over two years,” I told them.

With a big family beach vacation across the country coming up soon, I am officially back on the wagon. Three people, nine days, two suitcases. I know I can do it!

Ok, maybe three suitcases.

FOOTNOTES

*In my defense, this was before everyone suddenly decided that brown and black are both neutrals and do actually match.

**In case he spends the flight vomiting instead of screaming, which is always a possibility.

Stop by and visit me sometime!

Thanks Megan! You had me laughing, as always.

I am packing right now.  I have to bring two suitcases for the two of us...it's my duty as a lifetime member of the over-packers club. (I also am expecting to pay the fee for going over the airline weight limit.)

That face!

Leila has the cheesiest "smile" face...

Was this learned or do all kids make a similar face for the camera?

Unless you tell me otherwise, I am blaming her father.

Things I will never understand about my husband

Today is Jeff's 35th birthday.

Happy birthday babe! (Who am I kidding?  He doesn't read this blog.)


He has already started calling himself 36. I just don't get how he never remembers how old he is and that he thinks it's funny to be older.



In the twenty years I've know him, I have not been able to find the answers to any of Jeff's man-mysteries.

Can you help me out?

Why does he get a tiny hole in the middle of every T-shirt he owns?

How does he manage to lose eight pounds in four days?

Why do his feet still smell after showering?

Why does he refuse to pay for a haircut even though he hates cutting it himself?

Why is it that I am always ready to leave the house before him?

How is he able to snore when he inhales and exhales?

Please. I'm stumped.

This is for real.

The Elmo Gang (est. 2012) has three members. Leila would like you to believe that she is in charge.

She's probably right.



My dad (aka Grandpa) and my uncle Pat are the other two members, and yes, they also wear Elmo tattoos.

Don't worry. You can tell by their age that they are not dangerous, a menace to society, or taking over your town.

You may spot them near a bus stop,

or near the marina

trying to recruit new members.

They spend their days picking flowers,

walking the streets,

and rocking the good life

in a neighborhood near you.


Yes, Leila is clearly in charge and loving every minute of it.



You can be sure that "the Elmo gang rides again". -Grandpa

I swear my kid is cute

Not that you can tell from these pictures, but Leila is actually a cute kid.

I went to the hospital at noon on September 21, 2010 (my due date!) to be induced due to high blood pressure. Twelve hours and twenty-six minutes later I had a a baby.

She looked like this...



I loved her anyways. People told me she was beautiful and I believed them.



You can decide for yourself.



I'm linking up again this week with Mama G over at Growing up Geeky. This Tuesday's topic is Photo Bloopers. Link up here...

From bad to worse

These are by far my favorite series of photos I've taken of Leila.

She has quite a personality and these show off her silly-crazy-fun side!



She had no idea where that cracker went.



And this is where I drew the line. Bath time!

I'm linking up again this week with Mama G over at Growing up Geeky. This Tuesday's topic is your favorite photo. Any photo taken by you is fair game! Link up here...

I'm hoping this one (my official entry) wins the prize.



Is it strange that my favorite photo of her is a silly one? It looks like she totally forgot the cracker was on her head.

Femullet be gone!

Those of you that have been reading my blog (or even seen one single picture of Leila) know that she has no hair.

People are surprised when they actually see her in just the right light and notice a few blondie blonde strands coming from her head. "She does have hair!" is usually what I hear. Really people?!? Of course she has hair, just not enough to mention so therefore I just say she has none, to be dramatic.

This hair I speak of has started to grow into the dreaded femullet (you know, when a little girl has a mullet). About a month ago I mentioned my concern to some friends and they laughed at me. I guess they couldn't see it. Lighting must have been bad.

Last night during bath time the aforementioned femullet met scissors.

Here's the proof...one inch of hair (about 20 strands in all) snip, snip. Gone.

What does this prove?

Well, it proves her femullet is history.
It also proves that Leila has no hair.

Christmas photo FAIL

Most of the time it is me behind the camera taking pictures of Leila. On Thanksgiving I handed the camera over to my sister in hopes of the perfect family Christmas card photo.

Here are some of the pictures we will NOT be using. Can you guess why?

I now know who Leila gets this face from.


Look! I can make fun of myself too.


Jeff is literally holding up the palm branch here.


Looks like I'm the only one that can keep smiling for this long. (Notice Jeff and Leila making the same face again!)


Turns out we did get a "good enough for who it's for" Christmas card photo. You'll just have to wait and see :)