It's tough being two.

A few weeks ago posted this status on Facebook while eating breakfast with Leila:

You would think the world has ended over here...there are blueberries in Leila's blueberry pancakes and she cannot seem to put the cut pieces of pancake back together. Oh crap, her napkin just dropped on the floor. This is it. Brace yourselves.

It made me laugh to see her strong reaction to such common, normal, everyday things. But more than that, it made me step back and see the world through her eyes for a moment.  I am sure glad I am not two.

The world ends over here on a  regular basis.

Wrong color cup, plate, or utensils...hysterics.
Mommy running upstairs to grab something...screams for me to pick her up.
Daddy wants a hug...runs away like he has the plague.
Forgetting Elmo (or the stuffed friend of the day) in the house...the crazy cry.
Offering to help her with anything...Nooooooo!

The craziest part of living with a two-year old is that she forgets in a minute (or less) that she just freaked out.  As quick as the crazy comes...it goes. I wish I could learn to let go like that.  Maybe being two wouldn't be so bad.

Perfectly content for now, until she realizes I expect her to eat a piece of chicken.

What causes the world to end for your child(ren)?

Mealtime madness

Life with a two-year old can be maddening.  They are constantly asserting their independence by voicing their opinions, trying to do everything themselves, and changing their mind by the minute second.

Mealtime at our house has become the worst time of day.  First of all, Leila insists on choose her own plate, silverware, and cup. These are choices I have no problem with, until they make her crazy.  I want this plate, no this plate.  This cup, no I don't like this cup.  I want the other one.  You see where I am going here...and this is before the food is even served.

This was the first smile I've seen at mealtime in a while.

Leila never wants to eat anything served to her, naturally, because it wasn't her idea.  Her once "favorite" foods become gross.  She wants her sandwich cut into big pieces seconds after requesting little pieces.  I don't like that, has become the phrase I hear most often.  She pushes her plate away or plays with her food. This behavior is driving me nuts!

I give her choices.  I've resorted to bribery and trickery.  I set limits and make it my mission to follow through with what I've said.  I know she won't starve if she doesn't eat, that's not really what I am worried about.  We can't make it through mealtime without listening to whining (or even crying) and I am losing it.

Please tell me you have some tips that I can implement right away!  The first thing I am doing is making "set" times for meals and snacks, just like we have set times for sleep.

Any suggestions (or just plain sympathy)?    

We don't share toys.

I know what you are thinking...What?! How can you possibly be raising a decent human being without teaching the basic rule of sharing...and why on Earth are you telling people?!

Think about the last time you toddler had something another child wanted, or wanted something that another child was playing with.  What did you say to your child?  Did you tell them to share?

Before we stopped sharing toys, the conversations I had with Leila, when a child wanted the toy she was currently playing with, went something like this:

Leila, you need to share your shovel.  

No.  Mine.

When you're done give it to the boy.  We share.

When I finally realized what I was saying, I realized I was actually asking her to take turns, not share her shovel.  I didn't expect her to give up the shovel immediately just because another kid wanted to use it.  I wouldn't give up my parking spot just because someone else wanted it.  They'd have to wait until I was finished with my turn.

Sounds like simple semantics, right?  Sharing vs. turn taking.  But there is a difference.  Heather Shumaker, author of It’s OK Not to Share…And Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids (Tarcher/ Penguin, 2012) wrote a must-read guest post on the Positive Parenting Solutions blog that confirmed what I was witnessing.

I noticed when I used this different terminology with Leila she got it.  She started taking turns, even without me making a big deal out of it.

Taking her turn with the bucket.

So, do we share anything?  Yes.  We share our snack because we both can have some.  We share our crayons because there is enough for everyone to have one to use.  We can even share play-dough by breaking off a piece of our and giving it to a friend.

But most of the time we take turns.  We use something as long as we want it, and when we are finished, someone else can have their turn.  If she wants something, she waits her turn.  Turn-taking teaches positive assertiveness and patience, two life skills not all adults have.

So go ahead, stop making your kid share their toys, take turns instead!  You'll be doing everyone a favor.  

So that's where she gets it from

Depending on the context, those words can be heavily loaded.

So that's where she gets her beautiful blue eyes.  Not so bad (even though her baby blues come from Jeff.)

So that's where she gets her bossiness.  Not exactly music to my ears (even though it's true).

Last week I shared a list of phrases Miss Bossy-pants has been heard saying lately. I clearly admitted in the post that she may have heard me say some of those phrases to her, right?

I have said plenty of stuff to Leila that I cannot believe came out of my mouth.  Some stuff I can't even say with a straight face.

Yep, I'm where she gets it from...

You can't tell Mommy where to go.

That's enough Leila! (She repeated this back to me just two minutes later.)

No whining.  Wine is for Mommy.

Go...out of here.

As I mentioned earlier, PLEASE is being used more often around here.

Are there things you've said that you can't believe actually came out of your mouth (then later your child's)?  Want to read what other moms have said?

Check out the other Toddle Along Tuesday posts...

Bossy-pants

Actually, it's Miss Bossy-pants to you.

Here's a rundown of what my almost-two year old has been heard saying lately:

Don't like that.

Go away Mommy.

It's mine, not yours.  It's mine.

Stop!

No Mommy, keep it right there.

Sit down Mommy.

Me do it.  You do it.  No, me do it.

My friend, Amy, and her daughter Kennady hung out with us last week.  I can't remember what I said to Leila, but Amy's response to me was..."Hmmm, I wonder where she gets it from?!"  She was only half-joking.

Looks like PLEASE is going to become the most overused word in my vocabulary.

It's never too late {Changing behaviors}

I use to be so proud that when I asked Leila to sit and eat her snack, she would, just like that.  She would sit down anywhere even for just for a taste of something.

Somewhere, somehow, things changed.  

Now when we go to the park she runs around, snack in hand, like she didn't hear my request, like she doesn't know the rule.  When I do enforce the rule (I do try!) she melts down, runs in circles, and practically chokes on the food in her mouth.

It's frustrating.  It's unsafe.  It's a constant battle.  

The topic of snacks came up with my friend Lauren last week.  She was wondering if Leila could eat trail mix for snack.  I explained that even though Leila has all of her teeth, I do not give her nuts because I am afraid she'll choke on them while she runs around with her food.

Lauren was surprised that Leila hadn't been sitting to eat her snack anymore.  I admitted to becoming soft and down right scared of her meltdowns when I tried to enforce the rule.

As soon as I said those words aloud, I felt embarrassed.  Embarrassed that I let my almost two year old scare me and ashamed that I was willing to risk her safety because of it.

I've had enough!  

Immediately I began implementing "snack-training" with Leila.  (You know, kinda like sleep training, but with snacks.)  I knew the first few attempts would be down right brutal.  And they were.

Leila went into a full fledged tantrum on the floor, kicking, crying, turning red in the face, the whole deal, just because I asked her to sit and drink her smoothie. The second attempt had a similar outcome (in public this time) BUT by the third day of "snack-training" she complied.  Just like that.

I learned two valuable lessons.

1.  It's never to late to make changes in undesirable, or in this case, unsafe habits.

2.  It's okay to to make mistakes or slip up (this one's for me!) as a parent.  I am constantly learning about myself as a parent.  I am a work in progress.

Ever been in a similar situation?  Tell me I'm not alone here.

     

Doctor vs. Mom {Potty-training}

I was quite surprised when I went for Leila's two year well-baby check up last week (a month early) and her pediatrician tried to convince me that Leila was ready for potty training.

The doctor (who had been in the room with Leila for a whopping five minutes) said without hesitation, that Leila seemed ready.

Fine.  You think she's ready, then you potty train her.  What about me, don't I get an opinion?  What if I'm not ready?

I kept my mouth shut and listened to the good doctor ramble on about potty training.  Unfortunately for her, she failed to state one single reason why she thought Leila was ready for this next step.  Nope, not one.  Until...

Leila blew my cover and announced that she needed to poop.  

To make matters worse, Leila pulled at the door handle indicating that she wanted to leave the room we were in.  Of course the doctor assumed she wanted to use the bathroom, but I knew better than that!  The truth was, Leila wanted some privacy.  (And who wouldn't?!)  There was no table to hide under, no chair to stand behind, no place that she could be alone to do her business. 

Before the doctor said good-bye, I had her convinced that we'd be starting potty training within the next month.  

Luckily for me, Leila's next well-baby appointment is not until she is THREE years old.  That gives us plenty of time.

Evidence to support WAITING to potty training...

I think Momma knows best!

Anyone else NOT interested in potty training their toddler?  If you've already mastered potty training, what were some clues that your child was ready?

Sleep coach * Postpartum doula {Guest post}

Hello faithful readers of Leilaland!  I was so flattered when Jen asked me to guest blog this month. 

I'm Lauren, Mom to (almost) 2 year old Charlie. You may remember Charlie from such blog posts as: {Our big plan} Skipping a toddler nap.

I'd like to use this opportunity to (shamelessly) plug my budding business.  Here goes:

I recently moved to beautiful San Diego from Vancouver, Canada and have just started a sleep coaching business.  Having had major sleep issues with my Charlie, I am very passionate about helping other tired parents get their sleep back.

Please check out my website www.laurenboston.com and my Facebook page.  

Spread the word!

P.S. - anyone who books a consultation with me and mentions this blog post will get 15% off my services.

Hopefully Charlie and I will continue to be regulars on Leilaland - see you next time!

*****************************************************************************************************

I am so happy to know Lauren in real life!  Not only is she my first mommy-friend, she also happens to be an excellent resource for all things related to parenting.  

Luckily I checked out her "Favorite Things"  page on her website before I started packing for our trip.  Otherwise I would have forgotten the baby monitor! 

YES, you can...

Climb up on this high-chair.  Get in.  Sit down.  Buckle up.  All by yourself.

I am proud of my ability to let go, to mask my worries and fears, for Leila's sake. Her confidence is a direct reflection of my conscious change and my trust in her abilities.

I mean, look at her...  

One of my favorite group of moms on the internet call themselves the Play at Home Mom.  They have a YES! album on their Facebook page where they posted pictures of things they allowed their child to do.  YES, you can hold sparklers, get dirty, throw rocks, climb fences, play in the rain...  


Thanks for the inspiration ladies!

When do you say YES, you can...?  What can you trust your children to do?  

That face!

Leila has the cheesiest "smile" face...

Was this learned or do all kids make a similar face for the camera?

Unless you tell me otherwise, I am blaming her father.

A lesson on germs

Dear Leila,

It's been three months since your first head cold. Since then, it seems like you have been a snotty mess just about every other week.

Yesterday when you sneezed, your baby boogers shot out of your nose and dripped towards your chin. I laughed out loud when I turned around to look at the damage. You loved the attention so much that when you sneezed later that evening, you looked at me, smiled ear to ear, and waited for me to bust out laughing again. I did, and you felt proud.

This is the thing, I love you and your drippy boogers, but I'm your Mommy. That's what I do. You see, the other adults that we hang around do not view these boogers as anything but germs. Big, fat, nasty germs that you are passing on their child (or them).

You know, when you wipe your nose with your hand, then play with their toys...GERMS. When you reach your hand into the snack bowl, touching all the crackers, then just pull out the one you want...GERMS. How about when we are at Teacher Lee and you decide to "eat" pancakes with the play kitchen fork, yep, more GERMS.

My dear Leila, I know all the other kids are doing it. (How do you think you got this cold?) Please stop eating half-gnawed apple slices that belong to your friend. Please stop drinking from their sippy cups.

And finally, it's summertime, please stop getting these colds!




Love,
Mommy xoxo

From bad to worse

These are by far my favorite series of photos I've taken of Leila.

She has quite a personality and these show off her silly-crazy-fun side!



She had no idea where that cracker went.



And this is where I drew the line. Bath time!

I'm linking up again this week with Mama G over at Growing up Geeky. This Tuesday's topic is your favorite photo. Any photo taken by you is fair game! Link up here...

I'm hoping this one (my official entry) wins the prize.



Is it strange that my favorite photo of her is a silly one? It looks like she totally forgot the cracker was on her head.

16 Months

A day in the life of a sixteen month old toddler.

Rise and shine at 7:00 am. She plays in her crib for a while before I go and get her up. I love listening to her talk to her stuffed friends. She has such a sweet voice (most of the time).

First things first...we watch about 20 minutes of Sesame Street while she drinks her milk and I drink my coffee. She can just about put her cup in the sink when she's finished. She's a little short. I'm not sure I'm ready to teach her how to stand on a stool. Although she'd love it. She's into everything!

Morning play


Next up is a light breakfast at of cereal, eggs, fruit, oatmeal, toast, or pancakes. She just started feeding herself successfully with a spoon.


Adventure time- Forget the stroller, Leila wants to walk. We walk everywhere. She's great on her feet walking, running, or climbing.

Snack- Yogurt is her current fave. She loves when I put "surprises" like strawberries, blueberries, bananas, or cheerios in the spoonfuls. I should add pea or carrot surprises. but that's too mean.


11:30 Nap- We did it. Yep, yep! We made the great nap transition. It was not nearly as difficult as I though it would be. It took about two weeks to ease her into it. Now Leila naps once for about three hours. I hope to slowly be push it back as she gets use to our new routine. I love having more time to play and enjoy her in the morning. It is definitely her happiest time of day!


Snack- We eat a lot of small meals throughout the day. Sometimes she eats more than I expected, sometimes less. She's been pushing away her plate when she's finished instead of signing all done. Leila also stopped signing more, now she says it in the cutest way.

Indoor play- blocks, kitchen utensils, climbing the furniture, dancing...


Outside for more adventure time


Snack

Play, play, play...Daddy style!


Dinner around 6:30. She's been eating what we eat for the past few months (with a few exceptions). Makes life way easier this way!

Quiet play- She will sit with us on the couch while I read her a few of her favorite books. Actually, she usually makes me read the same book over and over again.

7:00 Night-night- Some nights I put her to bed, other nights Jeff does. We each do the 7:00ish bedtime routine with our own personal twist. Leila is a wonderful sleeper. She wakes up at night...maybe? Luckily we haven't had to go in once since she started sleeping through the night.

16 months and fun as ever!
It's her world and I'm happy to be in it.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Having a toddler makes you look at the world differently. It also makes you step back and look at your self...

because if you do it, they do it.

Leila has been mimicking us for some time now. It started with smiles, then onto gestures, facial expressions, and sounds. Now she mimics everything!

Jeff coughs and then Leila coughs three seconds later. Aunt Val and I stretch after a run, and there's Leila stretching too. Grandpa puts a block in her shirt and I find her doing the same. She will run to the trash can (pretending to have a piece of something in her hand) after someone throws garbage away. And I definitely have to be very careful that I do not scratch my head while she's eating peanut butter.

Here's my little monkey mimicking Grandma.

Loveable Leila



I've already convinced her vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen floor, and doing dishes are fun. Can I get her to fold the laundry too?