Doctor vs. Mom {Potty-training}

I was quite surprised when I went for Leila's two year well-baby check up last week (a month early) and her pediatrician tried to convince me that Leila was ready for potty training.

The doctor (who had been in the room with Leila for a whopping five minutes) said without hesitation, that Leila seemed ready.

Fine.  You think she's ready, then you potty train her.  What about me, don't I get an opinion?  What if I'm not ready?

I kept my mouth shut and listened to the good doctor ramble on about potty training.  Unfortunately for her, she failed to state one single reason why she thought Leila was ready for this next step.  Nope, not one.  Until...

Leila blew my cover and announced that she needed to poop.  

To make matters worse, Leila pulled at the door handle indicating that she wanted to leave the room we were in.  Of course the doctor assumed she wanted to use the bathroom, but I knew better than that!  The truth was, Leila wanted some privacy.  (And who wouldn't?!)  There was no table to hide under, no chair to stand behind, no place that she could be alone to do her business. 

Before the doctor said good-bye, I had her convinced that we'd be starting potty training within the next month.  

Luckily for me, Leila's next well-baby appointment is not until she is THREE years old.  That gives us plenty of time.

Evidence to support WAITING to potty training...

I think Momma knows best!

Anyone else NOT interested in potty training their toddler?  If you've already mastered potty training, what were some clues that your child was ready?

I'm here, I like it, and that's alright.

Last month I shared how I became a stay-at-home mom. I lost my job, and until recently I had a difficult time accepting my new role. Or at least that's what I thought.

Last week I got a message letting me know that I need to remove all my stuff from my classroom. They'll be needing the space this fall.  It's final...and it sure feels that way.

I'm a mess when it comes to my emotions. Anxiety is high, tears have been shed, feelings of anger and resentment resurface.  I miss my friends. I miss teaching. I miss the old Jen.

I'm surprised I feel this way because I do not want to work right now.  I really though I was over this!  I like being home with toddler Leila.  I know this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, literally.  I like my stay-at-home mom lifestyle.  I like the new Jen.

I am on a different path, headed in a different direction, than I pictured for myself, and that's alright.

It's okay to be glad that I'm not working.

It is perfectly fine to be a stay-at-home mom, and not love it or hate it.

It's okay to be happy.

Mom-ish

Almost two years into motherhood, I can firmly say that having a child changes things. (Even the little things!)

But you already knew that.

I have to go to bed early so I can keep up with my toddler's energy. I wipe boogers with my sleeve. I get a hangover from two (very large) glasses of wine. I wear a ponytail seven days a week. I never leave the house without baby wipes. I schedule my day around nap time. I sing in public, loudly.

Expected changes, right?

What I didn't expect was NOT changing how I see myself.

I expected to see myself as I see other moms.  Mom-ish. Whether it be frazzled or put together, in yoga pants or heels, they all seem like moms.

Surprisingly, I don't see myself as mom-ish even though I clearly am.

I am stuck somewhere between my perception of what a mom is and what I am...just me!



Mom-ish: Ponytail, comfortable shoes, little make-up, causal clothes, child

Writing this ensures my words will come back to haunt me in years (or months) when I am feeling like nothing else but mom-ish.


Have you become mom-ish?  Or, like me, were you maybe a little mom-ish to begin with?


Linking up again this week with Melissa over at Growing up Geeky.

How I got here

If you have been here awhile, you know that I consider myself a temporary stay-at-home-mom.

I never planned on staying home when I became a mom. My teaching career allowed me to work 180 days out of the year AND be home around 4pm. Sounded to me like a perfect way to do the all the things I love.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. -John Lennon

Going back to work after my maternity was the toughest thing I ever had to do.

Not because I didn't want to leave my child, I was excited to go back to teaching. I was desperate to get some structure back into my life after three blurry months of newborn filled days. (You know the drill...eat, sleep, poop, cry. Never in the same order, yet always the same.)

Those six months of teaching were rough on me. I felt guilty leaving Leila and loving the young children in my class. Guilty that I arrived at school ten minutes before class started, and guilty that I rushed home right after school was over.

Ashamed that I still hadn't lost all the baby weight, I spent my afternoons pushing Leila in the stroller while my anxious mind raced with all of the things I thought I should be doing (washing pump parts, bottles, packing my lunch, lesson planning, cleaning house, changing the sheets, going grocery shopping, making dinner...)

I felt like I was giving 110% but no one was reaping the benefits.

I was running on empty.

I learned I would be laid off (for real that year) due to budget cuts and increased class size in a meeting I was, of course, late to. I sat in the back of the room sobbing, wondering if I could take more changes in my life. At the same time, I was relieved it was almost over and afraid I would fail at being a stay-at-home-mom.

This June I will be celebrating one year of being a stay-at-home-mom to my little Leila.

Sure, this new role has had it's challenges. I have struggled with my new identity, making mom-friends, finding a routine that works for us, and feelings of uncertainty when it comes to my teaching career.

These personal struggles, although not resolved, have changed me. They have shed light onto what's important to me.

Family. Friends. Love. Balance. ME!

Life can be difficult when you have a plans. It can be great when you realize you can change them.

Nap transition {What's working?}

Leila has been showing signs for sometime of making the great nap transition from two naps to one. About a week I went for it. We pushed back the morning nap to 11:00 and hoped for the best. To my surprise, it worked!

Last Monday Leila napped from 11:00-2:00. I was pumped. I was sure it would work...she normally slept four hours throughout the day and now she was sleeping three. I would simply push her bedtime up a bit to make up for her lost hour of sleep. Seemed like I had beat the great nap transition!

I know, I know, you don't even need to say it. Every mom has stuck their foot in their mouth more times than they can count. We try to figure things out and solve problems before they happen. (Am I alone on this?)

But of course I forgot to consult the boss before changing her nap schedule. Leila still prefers two naps.

She's been going down in the morning between 10:30 and 11:30 but always seems to wake up around 1:30. Logic tells me to start the nap around 10:30, duh.

But she cannot make it to bedtime (7:30) without getting tired. Although Leila doesn't always fall asleep, she now gets a break from the action at 4:00 in her crib instead of taking a two hour afternoon nap.

This girl does not stop moving. Ever. We both need a break!

That is what's working today (or should I say yesterday?!) She's napping right now.

Awake between 7/7:30 am
Morning nap from 10:30-1:30
Afternoon break at 4:00
Bedtime between 7/7:30 pm

Fingers crossed.

Toddler Sleep

This girl loves her bed.


Maybe it's the eight pacifiers, the abundance of stuffed animals, or that she can access a shelf full of bed appropriate books and toys that keeps her happy there. I am not complaining. Not one single bit.

I was a little obsessive about her sleep and my lack of it, the first four months of Leila's life. Looking back I am sure it was just the normal newborn stage, but sleeping no more than three hours in a row makes a Momma crazy. So I set out to read every book possible about sleep, schedules, and routines. I read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child, Solve your Child's Sleep Problems, and The No-Cry Sleep Solution. All great and very informative books. I even got Grandma to read them! We took a little bit from each book and made a plan (that's the teacher in us).

It was getting way too difficult to rock or bounce her to sleep then lay her gently into the pack-n-play. As soon as I would put her down, I bolted to the door in hopes she wouldn't see me if she opened her eyes. Not very effective. My maternity leave was over so my mom was willing to help Leila learn to self-soothe for nap time. It took less than a week and she was napping like a champ. She has been an all-star napper ever since!

At seven months old I was able to put Leila down for the night around 7:00 am and wouldn't hear from her again until 7:00 pm. Lucky number 7!

So here we are, almost nine months later and Leila still takes two killer TWO HOUR naps...

...until yesterday.

Jeff had to abort the second nap after listening to her talk, sing, and eventually whine for an hour.

I have been dreading this transition since she turned a year old. She has shown signs that she's ready to ditch a nap and today I decided to deliberately try it. I like schedules and routines, and if you ever met Leila you'd know she must like them too. She's the happiest baby I've ever met!

The time has come. The time is now. Time for a new plan.