Leila goes to school!

Leila's first day of preschool was three weeks ago. She's been going one day a week for three hours, but asks to go almost daily. 

I have left Leila at a friend's house before, if I had to run an errand or go to the doctor, but this is different. We're calling this school and rightfully so since that's how it treated by Kari (her teacher).

I seriously found the best at-home preschool just blocks away from our home. Look at these personalized notes complete with a little story about her day on the back! I have saved them all so far. (Please tell me not to save them all.)

Leila and two of her friends get to hang out and play all morning. What could be better than that? Kari provides a great balance of activities for the girls. They do it all...from free choice, both indoors and out, to more structured activities ranging from pretend play to art activities. I am so impressed. I would sent her more often if it was in our budget.

Bold move letting three 2.5 year olds finger paint in the middle of your living room!

I am using this time to get stuff done around the house. Once Carson is older we'll be able to hang out one-on-one, but for now he spends most of his time nursing and sleeping. It's funny how quickly the three hours fly by.

These early experiences are so important to Leila's social, cognitive, and emotional development. Any other moms out there send your toddler to school or do you call it daycare?  And...is Leila still a toddler or is she a preschooler now?

We don't share toys.

I know what you are thinking...What?! How can you possibly be raising a decent human being without teaching the basic rule of sharing...and why on Earth are you telling people?!

Think about the last time you toddler had something another child wanted, or wanted something that another child was playing with.  What did you say to your child?  Did you tell them to share?

Before we stopped sharing toys, the conversations I had with Leila, when a child wanted the toy she was currently playing with, went something like this:

Leila, you need to share your shovel.  

No.  Mine.

When you're done give it to the boy.  We share.

When I finally realized what I was saying, I realized I was actually asking her to take turns, not share her shovel.  I didn't expect her to give up the shovel immediately just because another kid wanted to use it.  I wouldn't give up my parking spot just because someone else wanted it.  They'd have to wait until I was finished with my turn.

Sounds like simple semantics, right?  Sharing vs. turn taking.  But there is a difference.  Heather Shumaker, author of It’s OK Not to Share…And Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids (Tarcher/ Penguin, 2012) wrote a must-read guest post on the Positive Parenting Solutions blog that confirmed what I was witnessing.

I noticed when I used this different terminology with Leila she got it.  She started taking turns, even without me making a big deal out of it.

Taking her turn with the bucket.

So, do we share anything?  Yes.  We share our snack because we both can have some.  We share our crayons because there is enough for everyone to have one to use.  We can even share play-dough by breaking off a piece of our and giving it to a friend.

But most of the time we take turns.  We use something as long as we want it, and when we are finished, someone else can have their turn.  If she wants something, she waits her turn.  Turn-taking teaches positive assertiveness and patience, two life skills not all adults have.

So go ahead, stop making your kid share their toys, take turns instead!  You'll be doing everyone a favor.  

{Our big plan} Skipping a toddler nap

Nap time is sacred around here. Leila's nap occurs at the same time everyday. This girl loves her bed and is well-known for her over 3 hour marathon nap. I need my time, she needs hers.

Unfortunately, it takes place right smack in the middle of the day. Who wants to go out to lunch at 10:30? How about a beach day starting at 9:00? Well that's how we do it around here. All of our daytime adventures must be wrapped up by noon for Leila's 12:30 nap.

Until today's installment of the toddler summer bucket list, Leila had missed only one nap on purpose. (Like I said, nap time is sacred around here.)



Today we headed to Coronado on the ferry. This was Leila's first experience on a boat. She mostly just wanted to explore, climb, and sit on every chair.



The girls had a great time. It is adorable how Leila will mimic the little things Charlie does and vice versa. I love hearing them call out their friend's name.







After an exhausting morning the girls started to get tired. Our big plan was to push them in their stroller for a short nap and then continue our day. Their plan was to stay awake and wonder if the other was sleeping.

Their plan was more solid than ours.



Luckily they both made it all the way home without a meltdown!





I decided to put Leila in bed for a nap at 2:30 when we got home. I woke her up at 4:30 because certainly didn't want to mess with a later bedtime.

As for nap skipping...it didn't happen this time. It is great to know I can be a bit more flexible with her rigid nap schedule, if it seems necessary. (I don't want to miss out on MY time!)

Do you ever skip nap time? Any tips for special occasion nap skipping?

A lesson on germs

Dear Leila,

It's been three months since your first head cold. Since then, it seems like you have been a snotty mess just about every other week.

Yesterday when you sneezed, your baby boogers shot out of your nose and dripped towards your chin. I laughed out loud when I turned around to look at the damage. You loved the attention so much that when you sneezed later that evening, you looked at me, smiled ear to ear, and waited for me to bust out laughing again. I did, and you felt proud.

This is the thing, I love you and your drippy boogers, but I'm your Mommy. That's what I do. You see, the other adults that we hang around do not view these boogers as anything but germs. Big, fat, nasty germs that you are passing on their child (or them).

You know, when you wipe your nose with your hand, then play with their toys...GERMS. When you reach your hand into the snack bowl, touching all the crackers, then just pull out the one you want...GERMS. How about when we are at Teacher Lee and you decide to "eat" pancakes with the play kitchen fork, yep, more GERMS.

My dear Leila, I know all the other kids are doing it. (How do you think you got this cold?) Please stop eating half-gnawed apple slices that belong to your friend. Please stop drinking from their sippy cups.

And finally, it's summertime, please stop getting these colds!




Love,
Mommy xoxo

Toddler art {Outdoor messes}

I have no problem with Leila getting messy.

I just don't want it happening in MY house.

The outdoor space at our apartment is limited which leaves us Leila only a few opportunities to get really messy.

We will happily crash your patio if you invite us!

Finger painting

Sponge painting

Shaving cream with finger paint

Messy girl

Thanks Mommy to Elodie for letting us make a mess at your house!

Toddler art {Mother's Day gift}

This project couldn't be easier, cheaper, or more adorable...and BONUS!...it fits right inside the cards Leila got for her Grandmas and her Great-Baba.

Materials:
paint
paper
paintbrush
craft stick
green pipe cleaner
Sharpie or other kind of marker
white glue
stickers (optional)

1. Paint your child's hand and carefully press it onto the paper. Let it dry before you cut around the outline of the handprint.
2. Paint the craft stick green to look like a stem.  I used a sponge-like paint brush but fingers, Q-tips, or a regular paint brush will do the trick.  Set it aside to dry.
3. Put glue on the back of the handprint flower and position it onto the painted craft stick.  I wanted mine were short enough to fit nicely into the card/envelope I was mailing.  Lay the flower flat to dry.
4. Make a small loop on one end of the pipe cleaner to look like a leaf and secure it to itself.  Wrap the long end of the pipe cleaner around the painted craft stick, make a loop for another leaf and tuck the remaining part of the pipe cleaner into itself.  (You can also use paper to make leaves. Melissa suggested making green footprints for leaves!)
5. Add the year, a message, and stickers if you'd like.
   

Happy Mother's Day!

You should know...

I talk about not having Mommy friends and how hard it is to meet other moms, but in reality my long-time BFF has a girl just seven months younger than Leila.

I don't think of Amy as a mom-friend though. We've been friends for twenty years, so we were friends long before any of this baby talk. We are friends that happen to have daughters. (It really is pretty nice!)

Kennady will be turning one at the end of this month!


It seems that every time Amy and I try to get our girls together one of them ends up napping. A couple of weekends ago when Amy and Kennady came to hang out, Leila and Kennady got a chance to play together.

This is how it went down...

Starts off pretty cool.

Someone was not a real fan of sharing her toys. Notice the chicken leg? Yikes! Kennady could care less, she was willing to put anything in her mouth.

Looking forward to Kennady's party at the end of the month!
Any suggestions for a cool gift?

That was easy.

Second dates are fun. Third dates are exciting!

I wrote about our first play-date with our new found friends. I was worried about being myself around her, you know, because she's a mom.

Then I realized...

I'm the one who feels like I should have it all together. I'm the one judging me.

Really, all moms are way too busy chasing the kids around, making snacks, and cleaning food off our butts to care what the mom next to us is drinking at night.

So here's to being yourself...It's really all you've got.

I was right.

We had a wonderful third play-date at the zoo! Our kiddos were on the same page the whole trip. We stopped for snacks, took our time, and played in random spots along the way. It was easy.

Guess who would rather play in the dirt than see the elephants?

Leila!

I did hold myself back a little bit.

Mom-friend didn't need to know how hilarious I though it was to see a very excited male zebra. However, I did mention that I can't lose these last five pounds because I drink wine every night.

We'll see...

Mommy-friends {Don't give up}

It happened again...Leila and I had a date!



Almost two months after Leila's first play-date we met up with some new friends this week.

Leila and I have run into this mother-daughter duo at the park (of course) and at the library's story time. I first noticed this little girl because she is practically bald, like Leila. They also both got up during story time and busted a move, front and center. These girls like to dance!

I'm proud of myself for initially striking up the conversation, way back (two months ago) when the need for Mommy-friends really hit me. I later regretted not swapping numbers with her.

It turns out that those dating rules I followed before my Mrs. days still apply:

Mommy-dating Rule #1: Put yourself out there

Mommy-dating Rule #2: Don't give up

So every time I saw her I made sure we chatted it up. I even befriended her mom.

Now our girls seem to recognize each other, but are obviously still in the "getting to know you" stage too. At the park we talk, chase our kids, talk some more, and move on...

Until last week...we exchanged numbers! We talked on the phone, we emailed, we met up.

Our play-date meeting spot was a Mommy & Me dance class and it couldn't have been a better pick! Not because of the awesome fun great time. No, not that at all. It was the perfect pick because both of our experiences were not-so-great. (I'm being nice here!)

So now that's just another thing we have in common. I'll take it! And apparently she will too...we have two more dates planned.

My next dating rule to follow:

Mommy-dating Rule #3: Be yourself

Hopefully I don't scare her away with my passionate, blunt, and sometimes judgmental personality. (Please don't tell her!)

Camera trick

I just realized that the LCD screen on my camera flips out and around. Now I can actually see where I'm aiming self-portrait shots. I have a feeling you'll be seeing a lot more of these.


Next trick...getting Leila to hold still.

Mommy-friends {Putting yourself out there}

After wondering where all the Mommas in San Diego were hiding, I realized they weren't the ones hiding. The comments on my post about Leila's first play-date really helped me see I wasn't putting myself out there.

What was I waiting for...a formal invite?

It's been so long since I dated (Jeff and I met over 20 years ago) that I forgot the most basic dating rule.

Mommy-dating Rule #1: Put yourself out there

We've been hanging out at the park regularly since summertime and it's time to change it up. Thanks to many helpful suggestions, I have joined four Meet-up.com groups AND attended a Mommy & me preschool.

Today was our Leila's first day of school.

I was brave and showed up to the class a week after it started. Yep, I'm that mom. I stayed the entire morning, even though we aren't officially in the class. (I plan on crashing the next class too since I am pretty far down on the wait-list.)

What an experience it was!

Leila was the first one to meltdown, she pooped during circle time, tried to dominate the slide, and shared her snack with a few friends.

There were thirty diverse toddlers (ages 12-23 months) and their Mommas. The class was split into two discussion groups, with a whole group circle time to start and end the morning. All of the parents helped out by choosing a daily job, planning and preparing one class craft, and donating $10 towards supplies for the semester.

Adorable Valentine craft


I really enjoyed interacting with the other Moms and toddlers. It was fun to watch Leila explore new things and interact with so many new people. She is not shy!

And...since I plan on following all my Mommy-dating rules, we'll be heading to a Play-and Learn meet-up tomorrow. Group dates are always easiest!

Building my confidence one date at a time. Wish us luck!

I'm that mom

I was that mom at the park today.

We go to the park, a lot. We practically own the park we go there so much.

Leila is very comfortable hanging out with all of the children and adults there. She'll try to play with each group of kids in the sand. Then she'll head to the play structure so she can climb. After a while she'll head to the grass and sit on other families' blankets (and laps). She even tries to convince the other moms that she needs that goldfish cracker from their snack baggie.

Basically it's a free for all.

A few months ago you could find me following behind Leila about ten feet back. Always ready to apologize for her invading their space.

Not anymore.



I'm that mom that lets their toddler run across the park while I am building sandcastles (with the kids she was just playing with). I'm the one that doesn't make my child "ask" to play with your toys. I'm the one that waves from afar when I see the nearby adult scanning the park for her mother.

I'm the mom that panicked today when she couldn't see her child.

As usual, she left me playing in the sand with a bunch of kids I don't know. She went off to climb around, in, over, and through the play structure. She's so tiny that I could barely see her behind it. The next moment I looked, she wasn't there.

Panic.
Look for her hat...moving.
Safe!
She was following some older girls and was trying to sit on the swing.

I sat back down like it was no big deal. Still watching her play by those swings, I saw how happy she was.

The smile plastered on her face, as she stared up at the big girls, reminded me that I know I'm doing the right thing...for both of us.

(I met three new friends at the park this week! No real play-dates scheduled, but it was great to relax and chat with some Mommas I see their regularly.)

Mommy friends- Where are you?

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Leila is sixteen months old and we've never been on a play-date, until today.

It certainly is not her fault. She's got the best personality around! Leila loves playing with kids of all ages at the park. And yes, that's about the only place we go where she interacts with other kids.

Sad, huh?

I have only a handful of friends in a town I've lived in for eight years, and one of those is my sister. And of those friends, only one has a baby. I hang out with people who write things like...This is why I don't have a baby.

Leila's only chance for picking up a play-date was at the park.

Actually, we all know that when your kids are young, you are the one making the date. So, the first time I ever swapped numbers at the park I was so pumped. Unfortunately after a couple attempts to match our schedules, it just didn't work out. Since then, I have left the park two times without a phone number of a mommy I clicked with.

I was just too shy, maybe? Worried about being awkward? Afraid of being turned down?

But last week it happened.
We clicked.
Our girls clicked.
She mentioned getting together.
I was brave enough to ask for her number.
We had our first play-date.

And bonus...it wasn't at the park!


Walking to her first play-date


Am I the only one that has trouble making Mommy friends?
Can you suggest any other places to meet Mommas?