My gut

(Not the flabby one.) 

My instinct. 

Often times when I get or give advice it's, follow your instinct or go with your gut. Great advice. It is usually right. 

Except...what if your gut isn't telling you anything? What if your motherly instinct is temporarily clouded? (Not because of the wine.) Then what...?

Ask Twitter and Facebook of course! 

I've been wondering if I should still be waking Carson every 2.5 - 3 hours during the day to nurse. He's been gaining weight like he should be and is waking twice on his own at night to eat. Seems like what I am doing is working. So why mess with it? 

I'm curious.

There are two opposing viewpoints and I don't believe in either wholeheartedly. Never wake a sleeping baby vs. nurse every 2.5-3 hours. Twitter told me to never wake a sleeping baby and Facebook told me to wake to eat during the day.

I'm curious to find out which one works for us. Although it seems like what we are doing is working, could it work better? Could I have a workout, a shower, and time for my to-do list during Leila's three hour nap if I allow Carson to sleep that long too? Sounds ideal. 

I think my gut just told me something.

He's enjoying a nap and I am enjoying some me time. 

I'm getting in the picture

Back in October I wrote about my biggest mistake as a rookie mom, as well as a list of other things I plan to do differently this time around. (Surprise! I'm not totally failing at this!) I am a work in progress and I am slowly learning to let go of control.

A friend sent me some encouraging words when I was having a particularly rough day. She told me to lower my expectations for at least the first month. I took these words to heart and am pleased with myself today that my kids are both safe and fed today. Yep, that's about all I am going to expect from myself today. Maybe tomorrow (or next week) I will add to my short list of expectations (a shower would be nice).

This guy got circumcised on Tuesday. Yikes! Boy moms, why didn't anyone warn me about this?! 

The biggest mistake I made as a first time mom was not being in photos the days, weeks, even months after Leila was born. I was extremely unhappy with how I looked after I put on a whopping 50 pounds of baby weight. Later, I was even more unhappy that I had two pictures of me and her together (both of terrible quality) when she was a newborn.

Although the opportunity hasn't been presented very often for me to jump in front of the camera, I am not afraid of getting my picture snapped. I'm even less afraid of posting it on the internet for everyone to see. (I even plan to print this one for Carson's baby book.)

I'm not doing it for me. I'm doing it for them. I love seeing old pictures of my mother and no matter what she's wearing or when she last showered, I always think she is beautiful. I can only hope Leila and Carson will feel the same way about me. 

Wearing my pajamas, no make-up, and not sure of when I showered last. 

{Mommy} Holiday Wish List 2012

According to Merriam Webster's online dictionary... 

Wish list (n.)  a list of desired but often realistically unobtainable items 

Just making that clear before I list a bunch of items I'd love to have on my 2012 holiday wish list.  This is for fun!  Maybe you'll even get a gift idea or two for a friend or family member.

Want to play along?  Leave me a list in the comment section or link up your blog post here.  I'd love to see what's on your list (as I'm sure we all have some difficult-to-shop-for people this holiday). 

Wish list {for moms} 

I think this parenting book is right up my alley.
I already agree with the title.

Summer Infant Baby Touch Digital Video Monitor
This will allow Leila the freedom to play in her room by herself and
it will come in handy when the new baby arrives.

I left my gorgeous fish quilt at the park one day (hello mom-brain!). This blanket by JJ Cole is not nearly as beautiful as my quilt, but it is waterproof and it folds up easily to fit in the stroller.

Wish list {for beauty queens}

This is the best smelling lotion EVER!  It is lightweight and perfect for everyday use.
I thought I got it as a gift in an extra large size one year and it seemed to last forever.  

My sister gave me this Mega Bright serum by Origins for my birthday and I loved it! Maybe it's the pregnancy glow, but I'd like to say it improved my skin tone.

Jeff got me this blush called Orgasm by Nars two years ago for Christmas. It's a perfectly universal color and I want more.

I own many perfumes and want to add the newest one by Marc Jacobs to my collection.

Wish list {for the fashionistas}

So...this Black Calypso Canvas Wedge by TOMS may not be the most fashionable wedge out there,
but remember I do stay at home and this is about as dress as I get these days.  I saw them on a mom in our play group and they was totally appropriate for daily wear.

Maybe I should have titled this section differently.
Maternity yoga pants from Gap and fashion just don't belong in the same sentence, huh?

Add captionAll of the Original Seatbeltbag cross-body styles by Harveys are on my wish list. This one in particular is eco-friendly and could even double as a diaper bag.

That rounds out my extremely ridiculous wish list for Christmas 2012.  I could go one for days telling you about things I love... jewelry, scarves, socks, bags, music, etc.  I personally think I am the easiest person to shop for.  I love everything!

What's on your wish list this year?  

Ever own any of the things on my current list?

Anything you would recommend based on my list?

I can't wait to start holiday shopping...even if it isn't for me, shopping for gifts is just as fun!

So that's where she gets it from

Depending on the context, those words can be heavily loaded.

So that's where she gets her beautiful blue eyes.  Not so bad (even though her baby blues come from Jeff.)

So that's where she gets her bossiness.  Not exactly music to my ears (even though it's true).

Last week I shared a list of phrases Miss Bossy-pants has been heard saying lately. I clearly admitted in the post that she may have heard me say some of those phrases to her, right?

I have said plenty of stuff to Leila that I cannot believe came out of my mouth.  Some stuff I can't even say with a straight face.

Yep, I'm where she gets it from...

You can't tell Mommy where to go.

That's enough Leila! (She repeated this back to me just two minutes later.)

No whining.  Wine is for Mommy.

Go...out of here.

As I mentioned earlier, PLEASE is being used more often around here.

Are there things you've said that you can't believe actually came out of your mouth (then later your child's)?  Want to read what other moms have said?

Check out the other Toddle Along Tuesday posts...

How I stay sane {Finding balance}

Everyone wants and most definitely NEEDS balance in their life.

No matter what you do each day, there never seems to be enough hours to do everything you really want to do. (Trust me, it seems like there are plenty enough hours spent doing things I'd rather not do.  Dishes top that list!)

What tops my list of things I want to do?  How do I find balance in life?

I stay sane by...

drinking red wine or a crisp wheat beer.

working out regularly.

making lists and crossing off one item at a time.

hanging with the girls (or Jeff) sans Leila.

skipping the chores for a week. 

reading, writing...blogging.

ditching my meal plan and heading out to dinner.

listening to music and signing along.

taking a nap instead of doing what's on my list.

...and it doesn't hurt that I live here.

How do you find balance in your life? 

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This week's Toddle Along Tuesday topic is finding balance! How do you maintain a sense of balance in your life? Any tips to share?

Share your tips in the comment section or link up a relevant blog post (old or new).  Then, visit the linked blogs to read about how others are Finding Balance in their daily lives.

I'm losin' it {Weight-loss update}

After committing to finally losing all this "toddler" weight for once and for all, I've been on my best behavior all month. I am excited to announce that I have lost 5 pounds.

Could that be a little muscle tone in my arm or strategic posing? 

My plan worked!

My plan for the first month was to write down everything I ate and continue my current 5 day a week exercise routine.

Each day I kept a running total on how many calories I consumed, aiming for 1200-1500 per day.  (Honestly, some days were easier than others.)  Recording everything I put in my mouth helped me make better food choices throughout the day, cut out my nightly sweet treat, and drink less wine.

Luckily for me, choosing the "right" foods wasn't difficult. This is at least the fourth time I have counted calories to lose weight, which practically makes me a pro!

Aside from the occasional pizza night, I have been making healthy dinners for as long as I can remember. I cook with extra lean ground turkey, make meatless meals, and have a good sense of portion size.  Now that I am not rushed out the door to work in the morning, I have time to sit down and eat a "real" breakfast. Eggs are my top pick! They keep me feeling full until lunch so I'm not tempted to nibble from Leila's snacks.  Also, I do not like having junk food in the house, especially sweets.  I have quite the sweet tooth!  

Here's a few of my favorite healthy snacks:

apple with 1oz cheese or 1T of peanut butter

carrots and hummus

hard boiled egg

sweet baby peppers

greek yogurt

string cheese

popcorn

edamame

My exercise routine consisted of high and low intensity workouts five days a week.  I was already doing these workouts before I started counting calories so it was easy to continue.

To stay motivated I like to change up my workouts often!  I do not belong to a gym, because for me it's an unnecessary expense.

This is what I'm doing these days: 

• I have a couple of the Biggest Loser DVDs and Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred.  I fit those in during nap time on days that I don't run in the morning.  
• I also have an old school Denise Austin Pilates DVD that really works my abs.  It's my go-to workout when I am not motivated to work too hard.  
• Some days I simply I go for a walk or bike ride with Leila.  
• Just recently I started working out with my sister again one evening a week.  We're perfecting a routine we can do outside with Leila.  (I'll share when we get it just right!)

I am very impressed with my results! Although five pounds may not seem like a lot to some people, it is a lot to me. I am only 2 pounds from my goal!

Hahaha! This is my new favorite family photo.  

I know that July will be more challenging than this past month. I'm back home visiting family and friends in Chicago and plan to eat all my favorite foods at least twice. (Giordano's, Rosati's, Portillo's, and Jimmy John's here I come!)

My goal for July:  Don't gain any weight!

My plan:  Enjoy my vacation!  
I will be counting calories when possible and watching my portion sizes.  
I brought home five workout DVDs to do in my parents' basement since it's too hot here to run, even first thing in the morning.


Wish me luck!  


Don't forget to enter this month's Weight-loss Challenge giveaway to win some great pampering products from Basq! 

Mom-ish

Almost two years into motherhood, I can firmly say that having a child changes things. (Even the little things!)

But you already knew that.

I have to go to bed early so I can keep up with my toddler's energy. I wipe boogers with my sleeve. I get a hangover from two (very large) glasses of wine. I wear a ponytail seven days a week. I never leave the house without baby wipes. I schedule my day around nap time. I sing in public, loudly.

Expected changes, right?

What I didn't expect was NOT changing how I see myself.

I expected to see myself as I see other moms.  Mom-ish. Whether it be frazzled or put together, in yoga pants or heels, they all seem like moms.

Surprisingly, I don't see myself as mom-ish even though I clearly am.

I am stuck somewhere between my perception of what a mom is and what I am...just me!



Mom-ish: Ponytail, comfortable shoes, little make-up, causal clothes, child

Writing this ensures my words will come back to haunt me in years (or months) when I am feeling like nothing else but mom-ish.


Have you become mom-ish?  Or, like me, were you maybe a little mom-ish to begin with?


Linking up again this week with Melissa over at Growing up Geeky.

For once and for all

I chose not to make a resolution this year. Instead I decided to challenge myself one small goal at a time with one ultimate goal in mind:

Lose this baby weight.

I no longer have a baby, but I still have the weight. Leila is a twenty month old toddler and these last seven pounds have been around long enough!

Seven pounds seems like nothing after losing 43 of the 50 pounds I gained during pregnancy. But these seven pounds don't belong on my body.

I'm not ready to accept them. I don't want them anymore.



I have been consistently working out for over a year and my weight hasn't budged.

I can still wear the same summer clothes I bought last summer that were suppose to be "transition" clothes. They were suppose to be too big on me now.

What's my problem?
I eat just about whatever I want. Basically I workout so that I can eat.

What's my plan?
For once and for all, I will lose this toddler weight.

Writing down and accounting for everything I eat is the ONLY way I've been able to lose weight in the past. It works for me, but it takes time and dedication.

I'm worth it!

This first month I plan to eat from 1200-1500 calories a day while I continue my current exercise routine of running, circuit training DVDs, walking, yoga, and Pilates.

That's it. One small goal at a time.

I'd love your support!

Do you want to join the Simmworks Weight-Loss Challenge?  
There's a spot waiting for you! It doesn't matter if you have 7 or 50 pounds to lose. This is about YOU feeling good about your weight for once and for all.   Read all the detail about joining here.



Already feel good about your weight?
Lucky! I admire you and am jealous of you at the same time.  Enter our giveaways anyway, you never know!

How I got here

If you have been here awhile, you know that I consider myself a temporary stay-at-home-mom.

I never planned on staying home when I became a mom. My teaching career allowed me to work 180 days out of the year AND be home around 4pm. Sounded to me like a perfect way to do the all the things I love.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. -John Lennon

Going back to work after my maternity was the toughest thing I ever had to do.

Not because I didn't want to leave my child, I was excited to go back to teaching. I was desperate to get some structure back into my life after three blurry months of newborn filled days. (You know the drill...eat, sleep, poop, cry. Never in the same order, yet always the same.)

Those six months of teaching were rough on me. I felt guilty leaving Leila and loving the young children in my class. Guilty that I arrived at school ten minutes before class started, and guilty that I rushed home right after school was over.

Ashamed that I still hadn't lost all the baby weight, I spent my afternoons pushing Leila in the stroller while my anxious mind raced with all of the things I thought I should be doing (washing pump parts, bottles, packing my lunch, lesson planning, cleaning house, changing the sheets, going grocery shopping, making dinner...)

I felt like I was giving 110% but no one was reaping the benefits.

I was running on empty.

I learned I would be laid off (for real that year) due to budget cuts and increased class size in a meeting I was, of course, late to. I sat in the back of the room sobbing, wondering if I could take more changes in my life. At the same time, I was relieved it was almost over and afraid I would fail at being a stay-at-home-mom.

This June I will be celebrating one year of being a stay-at-home-mom to my little Leila.

Sure, this new role has had it's challenges. I have struggled with my new identity, making mom-friends, finding a routine that works for us, and feelings of uncertainty when it comes to my teaching career.

These personal struggles, although not resolved, have changed me. They have shed light onto what's important to me.

Family. Friends. Love. Balance. ME!

Life can be difficult when you have a plans. It can be great when you realize you can change them.

What's in your bag?

This is by far my newest favorite diaper bag!

I have a lot of bags and have possibly been mistaken for a bag lady, but when I saw this on Babysteals I just couldn't resist.

I have justified this by calling it a Mothers' Day gift from Leila. She likes her Momma happy!




JJ Cole Swag Bag

I keep all of my diaper bags semi-packed with the ultimate kid essentials:

• Diapers
• Wipes
• Wet Ones
• Onesie or a clean outfit
• Bib

When I'm packing our bag for the day I just grab my phone, water, snacks, and my wallet (which also includes a pen, lip gloss, ponytail holder, and bobby-pins) and toss it into one of the already semi-packed diaper bags.

This way I can choose my bag based on what we are doing and what I am wearing!

After reading the other Toddle Along Tuesday posts from this week I want more bags!

I may have a problem.
Am I alone here?

Check out what I mean...

The Rich List {Listable Life}

I'm linking up again this week with Nicole over at Moments that Define Life. Each Tuesday she hosts Listable Life on her blog. You can choose from two topics to write about and link up with her too. It's a fun way to meet new bloggers and a way for you to get to know me better.

It is so hard to wrap my brain around this week's list topic:

Things I would do if money were no object?

My mind instantly imagines traveling, shopping, and lots of boat riding. I want it all but, I will try to stay realistic (if that is possible!).

5 things I would do if money were no object:

Travel-
I want to see it all, but not all at one time. I'd plan an awesome 4-week vacation three times a year (January, June, and November). San Diego's weather is as beautiful as it gets so we'd go to places rich in history, culture, and adventure.

Help others-
I found a quality FREE Mommy-and-Me preschool that I'd love to be able to help out. (Teacher Lee we love you!) This is near and dear to my heart right now. Two years ago I probably would have wanted to open a charter school, but now that I am Leila's teacher, preschool is where it's at!

Man toys-
You know what I mean...jets, boats, motorcycles, cars, tools, electronics, gadgets, and such.

Home(s)-
Three total would be fine. One on the beach in San Diego, one on the beach in Maine, and one in downtown Chicago. That way we could visit family in Maine and Chicago and have our own house to stay at.

Shop 'till you drop-
Obviously, I would buy anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. I would drop the most money on bags, sunglasses, shoes, and jeans that were actually comfortable.

My favorite little shopping buddy

I kept it realistic, right?!?


Check out some other Listable Life posts or write your own and link up!

Celeb dinner party {Listable Life}

Alright. Your turn, what would you do if money were no object?

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me

I've been tagged by Amy over at Our Journey as Rookie Parents in an "Eleven Random Things" survey blog post. You will know me a little better after this list I wrote. (If you can make it to the end...)



Eleven questions...

1. What is your favorite movie of all time?
A Few Good Men is still my all-time fave. I am not much of a movie person...they put me to sleep.

2. When was the last time you laughed so hard you could barely catch your breath?
I'm not sure but my sister, Valerie, made me pee my pants I laughed so hard.

3. What was the best vacation you ever experienced?
Honeymoon in Kauai

4. Who is the funniest person you know?
My sister, Valerie

5. What is your favorite thing from the 80s?
Television sitcoms

6. What did you dream you would be when you were growing up?
A teacher ;)

7. Would you be more likely to sing karaoke or tear it up on the dance floor?
Dance, dance, dance!

8. Do you have any nicknames?
Lil' Jen (I'm 5'1")

9. Who is your favorite Disney princess?
The one and only- Cinderella

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Dirty fingernails

11. Where would you be right now without social media?
Reading a book

Celeb dinner party {Listable Life}

I'm linking up for the first time with Nicole over at Moments that Define Life. Each Tuesday she hosts Listable Life on her blog. You can choose from two topics to write about and link up with her too. It's a fun way to meet new bloggers and a way for you to get to know me better.

5 Celebrities I’d Like to Have to Dinner With:

When I imagine having dinner with celebs I imagine we'd sit around a huge table on a fancy mansion balcony. The newest Top Chef winner would cook us a meal while we drank and laughed. And laughed, and laughed. Pictures would definitely be plastered all over my Facebook timeline.

Heidi Klum- She's a funny stylish momma just like me. (Ha! You know I'm kidding.)

Justin Timberlake- Have you seen him on SNL?! Hilarious and good looking!

Oprah- I am a woman. Maybe she'd bring me car or a new book.

Bethenny Frankel- Too make me feel less crazy and to supply the booze.

Johnny Depp- So JT doesn't feel overwhelmed with all the girl talk!

Think I can I invite a few BFFs to join the fun? Please...someone has to take the photos.


Check out some other Listable Life posts or write your own and link up!


What celebs would you invite to your dinner party?

I don't make sense

Not even to myself.

Ever since I went three months without showering (maternity leave was rough!) I make it my priority to take a shower during Leila's morning nap.

I shave my legs, style my hair, and apply make-up. Then I put on pajamas. Technically they are yoga pants, but I have worn these to bed before. I pull out my most decent tank top from the dresser (the same ones I sleep and workout in) and throw it on. I add small stud earrings, but feel too under dressed for my diamond engagement ring. Flip flops are usually on my feet although barefoot would be best, even flip flops look silly with yoga pants. There I am, all dressed and ready to go looking like I should be on TLC's What Not to Wear from the neck down.

Why can't I put on regular clothes? I have plenty of casual tops and jeans (my entire wardrobe) but I am just going to the park or grocery store so I wear my pjs!?

This does not make sense, I know. I know I promised myself that I would work on ME this year. Why can't I get out of this clothing rut? Maybe I need to turn it into a challenge and trick myself into wearing my real clothes. Or maybe I will just buy some more yoga pants.

New Year, New Plan

This is not your typical New Year's Resolution post. I cannot wrap my head around what life will bring this next year.

To make a goal or resolution for an entire year seems foolish and is a waste of my time (and yours too!) This year I am going to challenge myself one small goal at a time.

I started the holiday season with one simple goal: To maintain my weight during the season of over-indulgence. 
To reach my goal, I challenged myself to cut out alcohol (yes, that means wine too) during the week. I am thrilled to report that I weighed myself today and...SUCCESS!  I didn't gain a pound over the holidays!

So, that's how I plan to roll all year long.
One challenge at a time. 
One success leading to another. 
One ultimate goal: Lose this baby weight.

Life will bring me challenges everyday but this is about ME. I will be challenging myself to ensure this is a year to remember!





Happy New Year!

Happy New Year...finally!

I've never been more excited to ring in the new year.

Leila and me 2012

It has been three times now that I have said that 2010 was the most difficult year of my life. Each time I said it I was reminded that last year was actually 2011. Yep, that is proof that I have already blocked it out.

Last year will forever be the year of change.

Leila and me 2011

Change is good, but not always as it is happening.

I went from maternity leave, to being a nursing working mother, to becoming an unemployed stay-at-home mom.

I went from hating my postpartum body to accepting that it is a work in progress.

I went from feeling in control to losing it more often than not.

I started the year with a baby but ended it with a toddler.

I went from thinking I had it all together to knowing it's okay that I don't.

I have changed. Jeff has changed. We have changed. Change is good. It's not easy, but definitely worth it.

This is love

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for the day that Leila would snuggle up with me on the couch. Yesterday it happened!

After straining a muscle in my back (from a too hard workout maybe?) I was glued to the couch most of this week so far.

Not the best time of year to be sitting on my ass. I have presents to wrap, more cookies to bake, shopping to do, cleaning that needs done, and fitness to be working on. (Remember I said NO to holiday weight gain this year!)

This super Type-A Momma has a really hard time sitting still. I am jumping out of my skin right now!

I guess good things can come to those who take it slow...extra love from my little girl.

And seriously, I know I can get it all done in one stinkin' day if I need to. I am that crazy.

I have more to say!

When I discovered I was pregnant I learned blogging was the best way to share our life with our friends and family living across the country. Some friends of ours (and Leila's future in-laws if I have anything to say about it!) started writing a blog and I thought their idea was genius.

At the time, I had no idea that this whole blogosphere even existed. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Betsy, my real life bff from Betsylife, started blogging around the same time and has really taught me a lot.

Now read a ton of blogs. I love mom blogs, organizing blogs, food blogs, coupon blogs, fitness blogs, lifestyle blogs, crafty blogs, daddy blogs... I do not discriminate. Do you have a blog? I probably read it.

As I blogged about my pregnancy I discovered my love of writing. I found my voice. I realized I was writing a story, one really long story, about our life. Reading old posts makes me so happy. Happy that I can relive my pregnancy and Leila's first year of life!

Then it dawned on me, although it may be Leilaland, I am NOT just along for the ride. I have something more to say! It's my blog and I'll write what I want to, write what I want to, write what I want to...(Are you singing this? You should be. I am.)

I will still be writing about Leila. But I am planning to include more posts about things I do and love.

Everyone has a story. I hope you enjoy mine!




I cannot remember the last time I posted a picture of just me!