Potty-training vs. Diapers: A mom's perspective

It's been three weeks since our big potty-training day.  It seems like it's been much longer than that. Keeping that in mind, things don't seem so bad. Yes... she's had accidents, sometimes refuses to use the toilet, says she has to go just to see how I will react, and is still learning.

Learning takes time and experiences.  She'll get there and one day it will be easier on us all.  It better!  Because right now there are times I wish she was still in diapers.

Diapers are easier.  Leila could go quite some time without needing a diaper change.  No need to interrupt her play or activity.  No bribes needed.  She rarely pooped on the go, which made diapers not-so-messy.  I carried three diapers and some wipes with ease.  Life was simpler with diapers, but that doesn't mean we made the wrong decision to teach her how to use the toilet. 

Learning to use the toilet involves going in the wet beach and park public bathrooms. Messy. Gross. Stinky. It means lugging around a folding toilet seat so she doesn't fall in or touch the germs, carrying extra clothes and septic-safe wipes (in addition to the multi-purpose baby wipes).  Teaching Leila to use the bathroom requires patience, time, encouragement, and consistency...none of which are bad things.  

Life before potty training was less complicated.  Really though, life before Leila was less complicated in general.  And I'm perfectly okay with that! 

You make Mommy proud!

Dear Leila,

It's official...you are not my little baby anymore.  At 28 months old you are out of diapers and wearing underwear.

Yep, Daddy is proud of you too.  (He even dressed you today!)

I really thought I would never be ready to potty-train you.  Not because I want you to stay little forever, but because I was afraid I would fail at potty-training you. This potty-training experience has taught me not to be afraid to fail, not to be afraid of change, and that together we can do anything!

You have made me so proud these past few days.  You have had only a few little pee-dribble accidents (and one big one that scared you) and have stayed dry more often than not.  Today we went for a walk to a park with no bathroom nearby and you stayed dry!  The best moment so far was Daddy catching you trying to hide and poop in your underwear.  He stopped you just in time and you went on your little potty instead.  I was surprised you actually made me stay in the bathroom with you while you did your business.  You've got this girl!

This change has not been easy on us though.  You continue to resist my suggestions to use the toilet every half hour, but Mommy knows best.  Soon enough you will be able to initiate going on your own, but until then we will be practicing a lot.  I want you to be successful, yet I realize at the same time that you will learn from your accidents.  My plan is to remain consistent so you learn what is expected.

I am not sure what challenges we will face in this potty-training adventure, but I do know that we will not be looking back!

Keep up the great work Leila.  I love you!

Love, 

Mommy   

Potty-training is exhausting...

Having a stubborn independent child and being eight and a half months pregnant makes everything more difficult.

Excited to be wearing underwear

Since 8:50 this morning we have been sitting on the floor outside the bathroom in our underwear. (Yes, me too.  It was the only way I could convince her she didn't need to bother with pants.)  At 12:45, I finally got her down for a nap in her "nighttime underwear" (aka Pull-ups) after exhaustion had gotten the best of us.

Lots of fluids = lots of opportunities to practice using the potty

Leila is 28 months old, the smartest child I know (I'm the mom. I am allowed to be biased.), and also the most independent.  She does not fit the profiles of the young children in the book, Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, who seem to do everything the mother asks of them without protest.  I'm thinking it's because this potty stuff is not new to her.

Leila has been randomly going pee on the potty for a few weeks and before that would pretend to go when I did.  She already knows how to sit down, what it feels like to pee, how to use toilet paper, and how to flush the toilet.  We've been talking about the importance of keeping our underwear dry and the people she knows that wear dry underwear. She's been anticipating this "Underwear Party" since last weekend.

We kicked off the party by getting rid of the diapers

None of this is bad, it's just different than I expected, based on the plan I read in the book.

• She had no interest in teaching her stuffed animals or dolls how to use the potty.
• She was very reluctant to drink all the fun drink choices I had for her.  
• She initiated her own "dry underwear checks" just to get more treats.  
• She did not realize (or point out to me) when she was wet.  Yet she stopped herself from peeing any further, and then finished peeing in the potty after I noticed.  
• She did not care to make up any potty songs and got tired of talking about pee, the potty, and dry underwear by nap time.

Leila did an amazing job!

• She learned how to pull her underwear up and down (and of course still needs my help).
• She choose to use the little potty instead of the potty seat that goes on the big toilet because that is what we saw in all the videos and books.
• She LOVED the Potty Time application on my phone. It made her so happy to get positive phone calls from Rachel and the accident calls made her unhappy.
• She changed out of her own wet underwear, put it into the hamper, and picked a new pair out without a fuss.
• She helped me clean up the one small accident that actually got onto the towel we were sitting on.
• She only had three small accidents in the 3 1/2 hours we spent outside the bathroom.

I felt defeated by nap time, due to our exhaustion and being uncomfortable sitting on the floor for that long.  After talking to my potty-training "coach" Renee I feel much better about our morning.  She put it into perspective for me.  It's always easier for an outsider to do that!

Where do we go from here?  Well, I do not be sitting in that 4x4 foot space outside our bathroom after nap time.  But I will NOT be giving up either.  

I plan to spend our afternoon down in the main living area of our house, doing what we normally do...AND checking for dry underwear every 5-15 minutes, offering a lot of drink choices (with extra bribes if necessary), and continuing to reward her efforts with praise, treats, and love.

Yummy bribes

We are doing this 100%.  I am committed to potty training Leila...and very happy I will be going to work tomorrow. (Thank goodness my mom is here to do the follow up!)

Potty-training in less than a day...

Is it even possible?  According to my mother, cousin, and the authors of this book, it IS possible to potty train your child in less than one day.

Oldie but a goodie!  The copyright date on this book is 1974.

My mom potty-trained all three of us using the method described in this book with no issues (that she remembers) in the late 70's/ early 80's.  My cousin had similar success stories with her son at 26 months and more recently, her daughter at 22 months.

I've been against potty-training Leila (28 months) since way back when her pediatrician tried to convince me she was ready at 23 months.  Just three weeks ago I tried to convince myself that Leila would be the first self potty-trained toddler because it just seems like too much for me to deal with...ever.

Despite my best efforts to keep Leila in diapers, the time has come.  Time for this Momma to suck it up and spend an entire day in the bathroom talking about the potty, pee, poop, and dry underwear.

After talking to my cousin Renee I am convinced I can do this.  She gave me the advice to follow the methods outlined in the book and some tips from her personal experiences.  Renee made it clear that I should not give up and that it was necessary to go all in, meaning NO MORE DIAPERS.

I took her personal tips to heart and stocked up on soda (yes, soda), juice boxes, Raisnettes, M&M's, Swedish fish, underwear, potty-training apps, and potty-training YouTube videos.

She cautioned me about the six accidents her daughter had in the first 20 minutes and how sick of potty talk I will be after the first day. She even warned me that Leila might not poop for a day (or three), told me I am not to give up, and that she will eventually poop.  Oh, and I forgot to mention, there will be meltdowns.

Renee also told me she used treat reward and potty reminders for about one week after the official training day.  But the best thing she said, was that as of today, her daughter has only had two accidents in the 2 months she's been potty-trained.  I'd call that a success!

Here goes nothing...

Our "Underwear Party" is scheduled for Wednesday...we even bought party hats for the occasion.  Leila has 40 pairs of underwear to go through if necessary and I am prepared to utter nothing but potty talk until the day is done.  Wish us luck!

Have a potty-training story, advice, or song/video to share with us?  If you skeptical, share that too. I know a lot of my readers are in the same boat as us right now.  Let's do this!

A self potty-training toddler

Despite my best efforts to keep Leila in diapers, this child is ready to be potty-trained.  If only I were ready too...

This summer, Leila's doctor told me she was ready to be potty-trained based on her five minute visit with us.  I did not agree (but didn't tell that to her face).  Instead, I vented about the doctor's assumption and posted evidence that Leila was not ready.

Today, about four months later, I am hoping Leila will potty train herself.  It could happen any day now.  She's been asking, once a day, to go "pee" on the big seat that she got for Christmas (from my other anti-potty training partner in crime, Lauren).

It's not that I want her to stay little forever, or even that I want to keep spending money on diapers, it's that I am not sure I have the patience to do this.  Yes, three days chained to the bathroom with her sounds right up my (31 week pregnant) alley.  It's the days after the training that I am afraid of.  

Am I prepared to lug around changes of clothes, tote her to the nasty park bathrooms, fight her for time on the toilet?  Can I handle her potty-training indecisiveness, her toilet meltdowns, her desire to do everything herself (even when she can't)?  And for goodness sake, she still hides to poop!  How am I going to convince her to poop on the toilet when I'm not even allowed to look at her while she poops?  

I need some help, some reassurance that this isn't as difficult as it sounds.  I need to be convinced that I can do this because Leila's ready to grow up despite my best efforts to deny it's happening.

Doctor vs. Mom {Potty-training}

I was quite surprised when I went for Leila's two year well-baby check up last week (a month early) and her pediatrician tried to convince me that Leila was ready for potty training.

The doctor (who had been in the room with Leila for a whopping five minutes) said without hesitation, that Leila seemed ready.

Fine.  You think she's ready, then you potty train her.  What about me, don't I get an opinion?  What if I'm not ready?

I kept my mouth shut and listened to the good doctor ramble on about potty training.  Unfortunately for her, she failed to state one single reason why she thought Leila was ready for this next step.  Nope, not one.  Until...

Leila blew my cover and announced that she needed to poop.  

To make matters worse, Leila pulled at the door handle indicating that she wanted to leave the room we were in.  Of course the doctor assumed she wanted to use the bathroom, but I knew better than that!  The truth was, Leila wanted some privacy.  (And who wouldn't?!)  There was no table to hide under, no chair to stand behind, no place that she could be alone to do her business. 

Before the doctor said good-bye, I had her convinced that we'd be starting potty training within the next month.  

Luckily for me, Leila's next well-baby appointment is not until she is THREE years old.  That gives us plenty of time.

Evidence to support WAITING to potty training...

I think Momma knows best!

Anyone else NOT interested in potty training their toddler?  If you've already mastered potty training, what were some clues that your child was ready?