Leilaland: Doctor vs. Mom {Potty-training}

Monday, August 27, 2012

Doctor vs. Mom {Potty-training}

I was quite surprised when I went for Leila's two year well-baby check up last week (a month early) and her pediatrician tried to convince me that Leila was ready for potty training.

The doctor (who had been in the room with Leila for a whopping five minutes) said without hesitation, that Leila seemed ready.

Fine. You think she's ready, then you potty train her. What about me, don't I get an opinion? What if I'm not ready?

I kept my mouth shut and listened to the good doctor ramble on about potty training. Unfortunately for her, she failed to state one single reason why she thought Leila was ready for this next step. Nope, not one. Until...

Leila blew my cover and announced that she needed to poop.

To make matters worse, Leila pulled at the door handle indicating that she wanted to leave the room we were in. Of course the doctor assumed she wanted to use the bathroom, but I knew better than that! The truth was, Leila wanted some privacy. (And who wouldn't?!) There was no table to hide under, no chair to stand behind, no place that she could be alone to do her business.

Before the doctor said good-bye, I had her convinced that we'd be starting potty training within the next month.

Luckily for me, Leila's next well-baby appointment is not until she is THREE years old. That gives us plenty of time.

Evidence to support WAITING to potty training...

I think Momma knows best!

Anyone else NOT interested in potty training their toddler? If you've already mastered potty training, what were some clues that your child was ready?

Comments (24)

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Allie · 657 weeks ago

hahaha I love that the doctor KNEW it was time....whatever doctor! haha! Luke has his 2 year check this week and homeboy is no where near ready!
My recent post Interview with Kristin Lancione from Beverly Hills Nannies!

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

I was pretty annoyed, as you can tell. I am no potty training expert, but I do know my kid better than she does. I do think it's time to research the typical potty-training "signs" though. I'll be an expert in no time!
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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IShouldReadBlogs · 657 weeks ago

I don't see any reason that Leila shouldn't defecate on herself as long as possible. Why take away the dignity of having to wait for someone else to remove the feces from your skin!? And what does a doctor who has seen many hundreds of children know!? The nerve!! :)

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Lauren Boston · 657 weeks ago

I'm with you. I'm in no rush to potty train Charlie. She also seems to have very little interest in the whole ordeal, so we're on the same page - phew!

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Bridget · 657 weeks ago

well, I am a mom who 100% hated potty training Red. It took about 6 months for us and I was really bad at it. Red literally became officially potty trained a week ago. Just a couple weeks after turning three. After my experience and watching all my friends/Red's friends go through it at the same time, I think starting as soon as you see the signs is key. Most of my friends who started as soon as there were signs had a quick and not too painful experience. Others had a total struggle. I think if Leila mentions that she has to go and goes to a private spot pretty much makes me think she is totally ready because it mean she understands the feeling. I think starting early helps because from what I have seen as kids get older (into their late twos ) they become more stubborn and don't want to be told what to do so it can be a struggle when you try to get them to go. All that being said, I also think when a kid is ready it will finally happen and if they are not you will know. I tried with Red a few times right after he was two and after a week of it just not working we would stop and try again a month later or so. Red was able to get the pee down quickly, but he just did not understand the feeling of having to poop until like a week ago. Anyways, I totally understand not wanting to do it, but after Red I plan on starting with Addie in the next couple months. If you have any questions about the various techniques I have tried and my experience, just let me know.

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

Emailing you!
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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Briana · 657 weeks ago

I am also in no rush to start potty training. However, my little guy just turned 21 months and I think it really is true that girls are easier than boys when it comes to this. We have a little potty that he likes to sit on (clothed), but I'm not going to force him before he's ready.

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

Leila has been sitting on her potty (clothed) for a few months now. Just yesterday she peed on the floor before bath time just one foot away from her potty. Makes me think she's not quite ready!
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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Gail · 657 weeks ago

Sorry, I kind of have to partly agree with the doctor. If she is hiding to go poop, then that poop should go in the potty. The other part can come later, when you think she is ready. Why not take advantage of what comes naturally? Leila is a smart girl and will probably understand easily.

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

That's a good point Gail. Another friend of mine suggested that I teach Leila to at least go into the bathroom (instead of under the table) for privacy. I have to start somewhere!
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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Farrah · 657 weeks ago

I have been in no rush- but I also have boys. Brody is 3.5 and it is still a 'work in progress' :) I don't know, maybe I am supposed to be more stressed out about this? I'm not. Oh well! I know it will happen. If he showed interest though- I would def. make it more accessible, try to make it a part of the daily routine, etc. Good luck!

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

Right?!?...it WILL happen, eventually. I think everybody needs to be ready, MOM included. I may sound selfish, but I matter too ;)
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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Tracy · 657 weeks ago

Our pedi said Logan was ready at two also but I knew he was not. He also knew when he needed to go but did not understand getting to the potty first. We waited till he was over 2.5 to start doing it. Then we did it and it only took a few days. We left him without anything on and the potty chair right in the living room. He immediately understood that he needed to get to that chair to go potty. He still has poop accidents because he is sometimes afraid of sitting there to do it, lol. But he is doing well and even stays dry over night already. You will know when she is ready and then you just do it. Cold turkey!

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

A mom friend told me there are about 10 things that kids need to be able to do/recognize before they are ready. One was being able to pull down their own pants, which Leila certainly can't do. This reminds me to get the list from her. Thanks for your suggestions/support!
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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Danielle · 657 weeks ago

I did the 3-Day Potty Training method with Ethan the weekend he turned two. By his 2 year appointment he walked in wearing underwear. Then 6 months later he had a huge regression and refused underwear. He would only wear pull ups.

Fast forward a year later. Yes... a year! And he finally showed an interest in potty training. I noticed that if he had undies or a pull up on at home he'd go in them but when out in public he'd tell me he had to go (when in undies). So when we were at home we were naked (with a shirt). In about a week he was doing great! Since then he has the occasional accident when he's playing or mistakes a toot for a poop but HE is/was ready and interested.

Wait.. it'll save you a LOT of hair (you know... cause you'll be pulling it out in frustration if you start too soon).

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

I am afraid of regression too because of you-know-what (not mentioned in my blog post yet!). I need to do some research in the next month to see what the signs really are. This is topic I will be revisiting!
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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candice · 657 weeks ago

Seriously?! This is outrageous. You'll know because you are the mom. I am waiting until G is 2 which is not until November and even then I may wait a couple of more months. She totally is giving me all the signals, but I keep reading that their brain isn't ready until they are at least 2. Jeeze!
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1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

Just today Leila said, "Potty" to me. I took her in, pulled off her diaper and sat her on the toilet, just to find out she already peed. I am seeing signs, but like you said, I know her brain is not quite ready!
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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Amy · 657 weeks ago

I am no where near the potty training stage, but cannot wait to hear about the results of your research! Please share momma!! Also, if you could send one of those adorable Elmo potties to Pittsburgh that would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advanced.

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

I found the Elmo potty at good 'ole Target! And I will be updating the blog about our experiences *whenever* they may happen.
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}

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@hleatherton · 657 weeks ago

We had an "open potty training" policy with Brady for a long time, starting around 21 months. We didn't want to push him before he was ready, so we just bought a potty chair and put it in the bathroom for him to use if he wanted to. No pressure. He would show interest for a few weeks, then be totally against it. Interested, not interested. Interested, not interested. It went on for over a year. I was really trying to let him lead the process, but it became apparent the older he got that he knew what to do, he just preferred to go potty in his pants so he didn't have to stop whatever activity he was involved in. That was the end for me. One month before his 3rd birthday we did the 3-day Potty Training method (over a weekend) and by Sunday morning he was completely trained. But... I truly believe we were so successful because he was, in fact, ready (he just needed us to take the final step for him).

When I say "ready", I mean he would tell me when he had to go (1 & 2) more times than not, he would wake from naps with a dry diaper, and would even wake from overnight with a dry diaper more times than not. This showed that he could show restraint.

If I can give one bit of potty training advice, it's this-- when you are ready to "train", go all in. Go straight to underwear, skip the pull ups. You can do laundry. Also, as scary as it is, don't even allow her to wear pull ups at nap/overnight. I know so many people who have a "potty trained" kid who still wears diapers/pull ups during sleep times and they have no idea how to get them to stop. Some of them are close to 5 years old too!! Being OCD, it was really hard for me to put B to bed knowing that he could wet the bed (and he has a handful of times), but overall, I know we made the right decision.

But in terms of timing for Leila... trust your gut and wait til she starts to lead the charge. Good luck!

(Sorry for the long comment)

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

I like the "open potty training" idea. We have been doing that for a month or so now, with no pressure, no rewards...just to get her use to the idea.

According to most "seasoned" moms I have heard from, B's ready signs are what I am looking for too. Leila is not there, not even close. She tells us when she has to poop, but refuses to even go near the bathroom, which is fine by me (for now).

I also agree, in theory, about going all-in with no pull-ups. I will be revisiting this post and all the comments to remind me of this when I am knee deep in wet laundry. Thanks for your long comment! You always have something valuable to add. :)
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SarahEvans 100p · 657 weeks ago

I am in now way interested in pushing Evie to potty train before she is ready. I actually *don't mind* diapering. It's also why I won't forcefully comepletely wean her off the paci at 17 months and why I wouldn't push her to wean off the bottle the second she turned one year old. I agree that you will know when she is ready.
My recent post On Having an "Easy" Child

1 reply · active 657 weeks ago

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myleilaland 57p · 657 weeks ago

I don't mind diapering either. It's pretty darn easy if you ask me! As for the pacifier, Leila will be two next month and still gets them only in her bed. Why mess with a good thing?!
My recent post The Great List {08.24.2012}